upset.

Before I share about my day today, I want to share about Wednesday night. I was super contemplating whether or not to go for Japanese class or orchestra practice. And then that very night I had a dream:

I dreamt that the ex-pres of NTU SE sent me an sms saying that it was ok if I cannot go for the practice, and that I should just go for my Japanese class.

So I decided to honour God and go for the Japanese class commitment. And I realised the next day that indeed I had to stick to my word and go for the Japanese class instead of my usual Bible Study with the Open Cell. So even if I didn't go for Japanese class, I would have been answerable to the cell group. yup.

 ————

anw… on to today: 

I was upset that
there was a jam that delayed A in coming to meet us for dinner

I was upset that
because of the jam we couldn't be early for band

I was upset that
I didn't get to warm up

I was upset that
I didn't get any useful practice done today

I was upset that
we were suddenly surprised by some visitors today

I was upset that
I was still not warmed up

I was upset that
we played a piece with a few bassoon solos

I was upset that
I was stupid enough to change from a new to an old reed.
(and so it couldn't sound…=\ and i changed it back thereafter)

but i'm happy that
I remembered the tune of a Thai piece I learnt 7 years ago during a TKGS MEP trip and I quickly ran out after band prac to ask one of the ladies the title of the piece and got it! yay!

Side note: I even remember that the Thai "Do" is our "La" i.e. a minor 3rd lower. (I sincerely hope I'm correct on this and would love to hear an affirmation…)

so overall………
I'm happy. =)

something from PnP

"…and to her (Elizabeth) it was equally evident that Jane was yielding to the preference which she had begun to entertain for him from the first, and was in a way to be very much in love; but she considered with pleasure that it was not likely to be discovered by the world in general, since Jane united, with great strength of feeling, a composure of temper and a uniform cheerfulness of manner which would guard her from the suspicions of the impertinent. She mentioned this to her friend Miss Lucas.

    'It may perhaps be pleasant,' replied Charlotte, 'to be able to impose on the public in such a case; but it is sometimes a disadvantage to be so very guarded. If a woman conceals her affection with the same skill from the object of it, she may lose the opportunity of fixing him. and it will then be but poor consolation to believe the world equally in the dark. There is so much of gratitude or vanity in almost every attachment, that it is not safe to leave any to itself. We can all begin freely - a slight preference is natural enough; but there are very few of us who have heart enough to be really in love without encouragement. ..."

i love Jane Austen and Gutenburg!

Kstan

interesting!!

I was having dinner with S and D, and then we started talking about a group of people seated near us. They looked really strange! Like they were confused if they were Asian or White… and yet they kinda all looked the same! In the end, we guessed that they were most likely from Central Asia - I was guessing Kazakhstan or Ubekistan, the only two "-stans" i know besides Afghanistan and Pakistan.

I don't think they could be from Afghan or Paki cos my impression of ppl from Astan and Pstan is that they look pretty much homogeneous.  Plus, X just went on a visit to CA not too long ago, and she was telling me how mixed they looked…

So i did the next best thing - and went straight up to their table and asked them. And I found out that they were….. nope! not exchange students from Kazakhstan but full-time students!! On scholarship. Not sure about what they study here, but they're pretty new to Singapore. One sophomore and 3 freshies.

And then I called X and told her about it, and I was referring to them as Kazakhstanis and I googled it and realised i was wrong!!! they are Kazakhs!! oh well…. and i also finally took a good look at the map of Kazakhstan, and it does have a sea - the Caspian Sea - potential shipping opportunities… and Kstan is pretty big indeed!

It has CHINA!!! on its east border and Russia on its west - which probably explains why one guy in the group looked damn white and the other looked damn cheena.

i think it's really cool! to have so many different ppl around me in hall. v.v.interesting indeed!!

i'm glad i went to ask! cos if i didn't i'd be killing myself now for not having satisfied the curiosity of mine, for not being daring enough. also, i feel that i am a leeetle beet more knowledgeable now, at least i know where Kstan is. otherwise i'd be akin to an American who thinks Singapore is part of Japan. oh well…

hope to get to sit down and talk to them and get to know them better. i think it's really cool to have ppl of different backgrounds around. 

facebook rants

===QUOTE===
Facebook is a social utility that connects
you with the people around you.
===UNQUOTE==

A columnist in today's The New Paper wrote about how addictive facebook is. Personally, I don't find it so. It's basically just like another friendster. I treat it more of a resource than anything. In case I need to find information, in case I need to find an acquaintance. 

In any case, a stranger actually once approached me on facebook, just cos he was attracted by my picture. In fact, I just saw his name in yesterday's papers. Charged for an account of molest of an 8yo girl in church. I don't know what happened, and I don't want to judge. All I can say is that when I saw on his Facebook profile back then that he was a Christian, it actually came across as nice, and a little comforting, to know that someone has the same faith as you do. All I can say now is that I will pray for him. If he was misunderstood, that he will learn to forgive, and if he really wronged someone, that he will repent.

I felt kinda bad for actually writing out his name on my blog when I got his message. After all, he didn't write on my wall did he? So he didn't exactly mean to be public right? anyway, now it's deleted. oh well…

=\

ZI CHAR UNCLE DOESN'T DELIVER ON FRIDAYS!!! =(((((

of lecturers and emails

this associate professor keeps on sending us so many jokes. wish she would keep the final year students out of the loop… irritating.

Update

Hey All,

It's been some time since I've updated. I've been feeling really well this week. Maybe a bit too well. Two days after I recovered on Sunday, I had a test. On test day, I also had a meeting with the FYP professor. The next day saw me having an assignment to hand in! and the day after that I had to prepare for a presentation. Also, had KSS powerpoint to do up. 

Yes, I've been up to an average of 4/5am every day and have been simply sleeping only an average of 5 hours a day. I am tired, but I only just have to thank God that at least I recovered before I was given this mountain-load of stuff to do. I felt like I was "forced" to rest, so to speak, just before I embarked on this hectic week.

Thank God for wireless. Cos as I type, it is on my laptop from Jurong Point's Long John Silver's while waiting for a friend.

Next week is recess week! and it's a good and timely break. I feel like travelling, but I think I'll be doing mostly catching up on work, FYP and studying Japanese. Also, there are stuff to prepare for the Japan mission trip. My bro is also having his O'Lvls now and I will be going back to prep him for it.

Last week was really crazy… cos the heavy medication had caused me to have really depressing thoughts - some almost suicidal I must say. But I wasn't really depressed, so I was still in control. In fact, the day after I ended my medication, I was tempted to go back to the docs to ask for more, cos I wasn't - or I thought I wasn't - recovered yet. But it might have been that the medication was a little addictive. Oh well…

I'm really glad it's Friday, and I wished my friend had told me earlier that he would be this late, cos I was planning to do some bassoon practice in my room before dinner and band prac later.

talk about being morbid…

i had a dream this morning, and in that dream, i was a soldier during the japanese war, a naval officer to be precise. i was in a small raft by the big warship, when they told us that a storm was coming up, and i had to get into the big warship quick.

upon entering, i heard the cries of a baby, and also the wailing of a woman. apparently some soldiers didn't like the cry of the baby. so they shot the baby. i didn't see anything, but i heard the shots. and then i heard that they gagged the woman, and tied her up in the air.

in the next scene, i saw the woman tied and gagged on a huge web of wires. and she freed herself somehow, and was trying to make her way down. but there was no escape. and a fellow prisoner told her that too. but she was stubborn and didn't want to listen. and suddenly i changed roles from the onlooker to being that woman.

i realised that at the bottom of the web was the meeting room for the army generals. i tried to look for an escape point but to no avail. so i decided to just play with one of the wires. and i discovered the wires that controlled the lighting of the ship, and so i was just scaring them. at first they thought it was an enemy, but then they realised it was me. and so they shot me. twice at my heart area. and once at the backside.

i remember feeling very numb, but i could still think clearly. the next scene of my dream saw me among some friends back on land, and i managed to squeeze one bullet out of me. the other was still embedded inside. yet i had bled all that i could and the bleeding had stopped. i was struggling to live. not wanting to let go. i remember people telling me they would being me to a surgeon as soon as possible but there weren't any available at that point of time.

all that went through my mind was that i am a survivor.

woke up with my chest area hurting slightly. then i fell back into dreamland… 

——

then the dream changed totally. and i was back among some secondary school friends. and there i was in the classroom learning music. and G was the teacher. we were rehearsing our parts, and then i was told to do a duet demonstration. i could feel that it was done in jest. they were "praising" me and yet at the same time making fun of me. i told them i couldn't pull it off. and indeed i didn't. going up just to make a fool of myself. i blamed it on the instrument. i remember the bow i was holding was simply a stick without any hair. and i was given a newer one. (it was a really cool instrument - a foldable cello of sorts.) i remember being given little time to master it. even held it the wrong way when i first got it. but i sounded better than on a normal cello with a hairless bow. but i still lost all techniques at playing it, even though i could read the notes as fast. and then i couldn't continue any more. and then the dream stopped.

—— 

next i knew i was awake 7 minutes before my class starts. so i had to rush there. no time to reflect upon the dreams. but indeed such are the dreams of mine when i'm under heavy medication perhaps?

strange 

saw a doctor and…

i got these many pills to take……

(+.+) i'm dead….

ok very drowsy already
shall go to bed
hopefully i'll recover after this… =\

presenting to you…

ZI CHAR UNCLE!!!

Slogan: With Zi Char Uncle, say bye bye to your hunger! 

waaaah i must say these people are certainly innovative!…. i've just placed my order and almost immediately i got a reply-sms:

heh so cute… they even got a website lor! Click on the Zi Char Uncle above to see what they have to offeR!!

haha.. i think i'm gonna have to get a free meal for this wonderful advertising! Let's hope the food is not bad… cos it's going to be my first time trying it tonight! 

ok back to studying…